Putting obstacles in your own way
Are you in the habit of putting obstacles in your own way? It’s such a self-limiting and self-defeating thing to do. I know this because I do it too.
I’m not talking about actual tangible obstacles here, the ones that we do encounter from time to time and need to navigate around. The big things like redundancy, illness, or family commitments. Rather, I am thinking about those intangible ones that we create for ourselves, and that prevent us from getting the most out of life.
Have you ever said something to yourself along the lines of?
- When I’ve lost weight, I’ll …
- When I’m earning more money, I’ll …
- When I’ve got more time, I’ll …
- When I get a better job, I’ll …
- When I start a new relationship, I’ll …
- When I feel more confident, I’ll …
I’m sure we all have our own version of these scenarios that we could easily slot in here.
Why do we do this?
I believe it is fear that is the reason we do this. We use these supposed ‘obstacles’ as a sort of self-defence mechanism to keep us safe. Safe from what though?
When it comes to our personal image, this fear could stem from several things:
- Fear of looking silly
- Fear of stepping out of our comfort zone
- Fear of getting it wrong
- Fear of standing out too much
- Fear of what people might think
If you have ever been on the receiving end of a negative comment about something you were wearing, then you will tend to want to play it safe. Especially if this happened when you were feeling a bit vulnerable, and not very confident. Your self-esteem takes a serious knock.
It can be soul destroying to worry about every outfit choice. To end up hiding your light under a drab or non-descript look. Or to ultimately dress in a way to help you just ‘fit in’ with expectations.
Quite often, we can carry these so-called fears around with us unconsciously for years. To the extent they seem real and justified. But are they really? Are you the same person you were on that day when someone casually said, “you’re not going out in that are you?”
What can we do about it?
If our thoughts have become habit rather than reality, we can work on changing them. We can set about converting our ‘obstacles’ into opportunities or possibilities.
- Obstacle – When I lose weight, I will be able to wear nice clothes.
- Opportunity – I can learn more about my style personality, body shape and my best colours so that I can start to look great as I am today. Then I will feel more motivated to tackle my health goals.
- Obstacle – When I get a better job, I will be able to dress better.
- Opportunity – I can set myself some career goals and start planning how I would like to dress. I can start acting as if I am already in the new role, so that I feel comfortable, and like I belong when I go for my interview.
What we are really talking about here is a change of mindset. But, as is often the case, dealing with change can be daunting and difficult to do on your own.
The good news is, there is help available. Just like when you want to get fit you might enlist the help of a personal trainer, or join a gym or an exercise class. When it comes to removing your personal style ‘obstacles’ you can employ the help of an image consultant or personal stylist.
It is my passion to help you clear these obstacles from your path. To help you see a way forward. I specialise in helping people initiate change in their lives by building an authentic, and up to date image.
Are you putting obstacles in your own way and letting an outdated self-image hold you back?
Imagine if your self-image was sorted, and you looked and felt great. What else could you achieve?